The bee

The bee

Note: This is a stream of consciousness post. It may or may not have a point. 😉

The bee breaks all kinds of laws humans have thought of to explain things.

It shouldn’t be able to fly because it’s wings are too small compared to its body. It does that dance thing to talk to other bees. While we think we know what they are saying — why did it take so long to figure it out.

They do it because they were born to and just do it.

My daughter has two quotes from Rachel Hollis on our white board at home.

  • “Your dream is worth fighting for, and while you’re not in control of what life throws at you, you are in control of the fight.”
  • “Decide you care more about creating your magic and pushing it out into the world than how it will be received.”

I used those quotes on June 4, for the first group workout I led. And a little over a month into my 44th year, I haven’t been following my own advice very well.

I work in an arena in which everything you do — every mistake you make — is there for everyone to see. Big mistakes, little ones that only the people in your industry notice, they’re all there.

And I stopped blogging because of what was going on at work. I kept things to the safe garden. Who would criticize a garden, right?

I love the garden, but I love the workouts in the garden, making meals from things the garden provided more.

Today, my daughter and I saw a double-rainbow during our group workout. I didn’t take a photo because my phone would have died outside because of the rain that fell early in the workout.

As we worked out to the theme — Kick Covid’s butt — each exercise was based on a letter in the phrase — we slipped and slid on our yoga mats. The rain showed that they still had soap in them from when I last cleaned them. Each plank, sit up, lunge, etc., ended with a little more bubbles squishing out of the corners of where our body met the mat.

I knew we were blessed.

And then I went to work, and the complained for the week started coming in. I am a reformed perfectionist. While I do my best, I realize I’m not perfect. And each time our product comes out, I have a hard time dealing with the imperfections that pop up.

And this week was particularly hard.

For some reason, I decided to listen to Dave Hollis’ morning Facebook Live talk . He talked about giving ourselves grace.

I know grace was there, but I find it really hard to give grace to myself. I still look at mistakes I made several decades ago and wonder how it shaped the people involved.

And after listening to Dave rattle off several different things that I wish I remembered, I came away with a feeling of relief. Someone else got it. They know I’m not perfect too and I need to get over it.

So I did, until around 3:30 p.m.

My husband had come into the office around 10:15 a.m. to get his kayaking hat.

“If I die today, Sam is in charge,” he said. It is our way of saying goodbye, safe travels.

The person I was interviewing, a strong mother who lost one of her sons to gun violence, asked me about his kayaking habits. Then we bonded over how moms do things that others don’t understand.

About six hours later, it seemed like my oldest daughter would be in charge. Our oldest son and I were on our way to the car to start searching for my husband when we saw him walking across a small wooden bridge near the car.

His epic adventure included having his kayak getting flipped as it was sinking in the middle of the major waterway in our area. He swam to shore with his gear somehow and walked to the car.

My nerves were shot for several hours.

Will he go back out on the water? Most likely. He loves kayaking, being with nature and the rush of dealing with difficult situations.

For my husband, this was a learning experience. I would have been a nervous wreck and would vow never to kayak again that far away from shore.

Divine grace got us through this day. It also taught us some lessons.

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