Tomorrow I will cross a finish line and become a marathoner.

Right now, I’m getting my gear together. While my friend on Facebook have been sweating bullets for a few days or maybe even weeks, I was fine.

Until today …

I’ve spent four months training for this, but mentally I feel unprepared. 

So let me start with a list.

 

This is my list of miles and who I’m running them for.

I asked donors to Mountain Mama for Team RWB to give me people to dedicate miles to. I also asked my online running group. When I added those who I knew, the list got a bit too long. And even this week, I added another name or two.

Today, I realized that Oct. 27, two days after I run the Marine Corps Marathon, will mark the anniversary of my grandfather’s death. It still stings like when I run my finger tips over a scar I got after an overhead light broke and cut my arm.

I watched his great-grandchildren run a mile loop today near the Pentagon. I could feel him watching and seeing how much they’ve grown. We also saw Marines run hand-in-hand with little kids who seemed too scared to run by themselves. They were inspiring. I felt his warmth but felt sad that he isn’t here physically. I miss him a lot more than I  thought I did.

Marines help several runners during the MCM kids’ race.

My goals are simple:

  • Finish
  • Enjoy the run

If I beat the time my husband had for his first marathon, that will be icing on the cake.

I’ve never felt like this before. Even when my kids were born, I wasn’t like this. 

What have I gotten myself into?!