This month marks the 5-year anniversary of my dad’s death and the 1-year anniversary of the death of one of our dogs. It also marks when the pandemic closed our local schools and my kids’ world turned upside down.
It seems odd that anniversaries impact you in a way that chills your soul. Some are hit a little more than others. So, we’re taking advantage of a day of school to reset.
We’re giving each other a little space to grieve but also to celebrate how we’ve made it through the chaos. We also celebrate how those who we mourn inspired us to be better, do better in the years after their passing.
My dad … I could do on forever about my dad. He introduced me to sports, the military and cooking. My kids don’t remember him much, which I regret. They do remember making soda with him once.
They grew up with Caesar. They knew how he loved playing ball and walking without a leash in the yard. He had these ice blue eyes. He was their boy, who kept his other doggie brothers in line.
For one of my kids, all of this just sort of compounded until he exploded. It’s rough seeing your kid go through something you are also dealing with. As an adult, I’m supposed to deal with certain things my kid shouldn’t have to deal with. But he is. He’s too young, but he’s human. Everyone is different, has a different set of skills that helps them fit in today’s world.
His is being smart, and someone who dwells on things. Like me, when things happen and, on the surface, he looks OK. But in his mind, he replays them a million times.
As his mom, I can tell him what worked for me. But he’s not me. He’s who he is. Trying to fit him into a mold I project onto him won’t help.
So we’re resetting the button. Let everyone process things in a place and time where there are little demands on us. We’ll regroup, figure out what to do, and charge forward.
I think this blog is shifting. I still exercise but I feel like this is a place for parenting and family adventures. I have more space to explore feeling and researching topics.
We’ll see …