The price you pay

If you could put a price tag on your health, how much is it worth?
Would you cough up $40 a month to go to a gym? Would you pay your deductible every year, just to get the latest vaccines and a clean bill of health from your physician?
What about your mental health?
I thought I was a woman of lists. They were safe, kept me in check. They also kept me down. I put so much on my lists there was no way I could accomplish them.
Then I stopped making lists, stopped training, put all the goals on hold, and looked at my world.
I created unreasonable deadlines and expectations. My order was controlled by fear. And everyone, including myself, hated me for it.
So I tore up my lists. My goal is just to be awesome.
I started my quest for awesomeness earlier than I thought. This week, I picked up my prizes for placing eighth overall in the 2013 Morgantown Area Grand Prix. The grand prix is a series of 10 races. You have to do at least seven to qualify for a certificate, six to be an award winner. Points are scored based on age, races ran, etc.
I, the mid-packer mother of three, placed eighth. I ran eight out of 10 races. I’m one of two people in the top 10 who wasn’t a member of the local track club.
At the time, it didn’t seem like much. But as I looked at the scores after the series ended, I was confused but proud. I didn’t understand the scoring, but some of the members of the Morgantown Road Runners, which sponsored the series, straightened me out.
When I picked up my certificate of completion, award shirt and gift certificate, it felt real. I did this. After only a little more than a year of running under my belt, I did something and finished it.
I had a lot of help getting it done.
I must admit, that during a lull in the series, I slacked off in my training. I hit a rather rough spot and couldn’t focus.
Things suffered as a result.
I’m ending 2013 with new resolve. I have a gym membership and so far, I love it. I’ve even joined the gym’s contest this month to keep me motivated. I have to do 200 miles biking, 26.2 miles running and 5 miles swimming by the end of the month.
Each week, they tally people’s progress and put it on these cute charts featuring popsickle sticks with shirts on them. The sticks move on the chart as you progress.
I guess I’m still a sucker for charts and lists. At least I’m not in charge of the ones at the gym.
In my less charted world, I still track mileage, but if I miss a day, it’s no big deal. I tally it up when I get a spare moment.
I’ve also been able to spend more time with my family. We actually enjoy each others’ company.
Going to the gym has helped my mood. I still get upset by some things, but I don’t get as mental about it as I did before.
I’m also working on getting outside help in regards to my mental and physical health. I never really made up a training program, I just went with the flow.
I found I couldn’t do my own thing anymore. I’m hoping that by pulling some professional help into my world, I can right my course.
I made a lot of mistakes and I have been paying dearly for them. Now I have to pay to get myself out of this hole I’m in.
My family is worth it. I’m worth it. The cost of failing to ensure my physical and mental health has been too high for far to long.