The lies I tell myself

The lies I tell myself

I love Rachel Hollis. Her book, “Girl, Wash Your Face,” has changed my perspective on many things.

Her book is divided by lies. They are lies she tells herself. Each chapter addresses one of the lies and how she changed her thinking about them.

So, here are a few of the lies I’ve been telling myself the past few weeks. I don’t have answers but I wanted to put them out there for future reference.

Somehow I convinced myself that coffee is a magic cure-all.

I need more coffee …

These past few weeks have been a whirlwind of activity. I had to move out of my home office and the family is adjusting to nights without me. Because of how busy I’ve been, I’m not at home during the day much either.

I feel drained a lot more than usual. My defense against the blahs is caffeine. It’s a great elixir, a cure-all that makes me feel like magic.

But my body isn’t telling me I need more coffee. It’s trying to tell me to stop and slow down.

I caught myself, in the middle of my work shift, saying, “I need some coffee.” It’s like 8 p.m. so coffee would be the opposite of what I need. Yet there I was longing for a pick me up.

I don’t let my kids drink caffeine that late at night, why should I drink it that late, I thought to myself.

I opted for water that night. It felt better than coffee, smooth with no aftertaste. No caffeine crash a few hours later.

Rest is a good thing. I need to listen to my body more.

I have time to do that …

I would love to take a nap and make my kids clean after I get off work. But I try to help out and delegate tasks to the kids too. I prefer to have them see me walk the walk.

Since I’ve been gone so much, the household chores often fall to the wayside. I have to make lists of what to do, but sometimes forget. When I forget, nothing gets done.

I always tell myself, tomorrow I can do blah, blah, insert chore here and a task here. Then tomorrow becomes today, and I have another crazy day in which nothing I planned to do gets done.

I have found that I have to make my own appointment with myself to do things. While waiting for the drug store to open, I wash a load of clothes. While I eat lunch, I clean off the living room table.

If you want something bad enough, you will find a way to make it happen, the saying goes. I want a clean house, but I prefer to sleep (see above) instead of dealing with the hassle of rounding up my minions for help.

The thing is, I need help. I hate to admit it and don’t want to deal with possible rejection (tweens rolling their eyes or pitching fits because their task is too hard). I just need to bite the bullet.

I’m tired so I can’t …

Exercise keeps me sane. This busy season has made me feel like exercise should be on the back burner. And then I feel guilty.

So I lace up and workout. I exercise during breaks at work, while the boys play at the playground, and when no one else is up.

It’s slower and shorter but still magical. Just doing 10 burpees in a work skirt can sometimes work wonders on your attitude.

I suck at this …

I often feel like a terrible mom, wife, and employee. Sometimes, especially since I can’t seem to catch I break these days, I feel like I suck at life. Someone gave me the “kick me” sign and the universe is just busting my butt.

But there are moments, when I see a sunrise or share a meteor shower with my daughter, that make me realize that I’ve got this. I’m not like other moms — I work in the evening, love science fiction and mud — but I do my thing pretty well most days.

My kids are alive and are decent humans. I’m alive and most day, I’m a decent human. That’s all that matters. The rest — having all the clothes washed, signing all the school forms — is icing on the cake.

I’m alive. I have food, water and shelter. I am as physically, financially and mentally fit as I can be given my circumstances.

Life is good.

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